life

My current ritual is to refresh my email. Once I realise there's nothing in there, I refresh a news website. I hate the news, and yet the futility of the task feels perfect in the moment....

I have been documenting my struggle to systematise everything. But what if I'm creating the problem by writing about it? Maybe I'm just writing about the wrong things....

I don't know how to do email and calendar. The latter troubles me more....

I should be deep asleep at this point. Instead, I am wasting my time reading stuff I had no inclination to catch up on. I opened the editor and then started reading older drafts. Anything but put some words on paper. It's so frustrating when I let that happen, because it happens often. I finally decided to get typing, and the first thing that came to my mind is how I suck at routine. I routinely suck at routine. I will get into a routine, but soon stop the moment I have one going. My threshold...

Every December, I review my list of apps and subscriptions. I didn't break the ritual this year either....

Who cares about facts anyway these days, right?...

I've been told that a beard looks good on me. I like beards, but beards do not like me....

Spiralling into nothingness, with thoughts I can't control....

These days have been quite chaotic. There's too much happening at work and at home. Plus, I seem to have less time than I generally had. I know that's not the case, but that's just how life has been lately. Generally, this shouldn't be an issue. But what this means is I have very little energy to do anything other than what's in front of me. There's hardly any plan. Day dawns with a promise of busyness and settles with that promise fulfilled. I trudge along. This is not healthy. I need to take...

The Friday routine that we have fallen in love with....

I haven't been able to maintain a routine for several months now. I'm not blaming myself, as I simply had no desire to follow one. The idea of routinely doing any activity made me genuinely uncomfortable, so I didn't force myself into it. Why should I? Routine, to me, gives a semblance of control to one's life. As James Clear says, "In the absence of routine, we drift". But what if to drift is what my mind wants? Not reading. Not writing. Not pondering on stuff. Just drift through the days. L...

It's funny how such a simple set of words can be considered one of the most iconic and motivating slogans. Irrespective of what idea the tagline is rooted in, it can mean many things to many people. Going beyond limits. Being determined. Pushing past obstacles. To me, the most profound interpretation is to act—to start instead of waiting for the perfect moment, tool, or opportunity. I procrastinate when I overthink things, whether at work or in life. Thinking isn't doing. Doing is doing....

I usually drive to my office with navigation on, and at every turn, it suggests an alternative route: 5 minutes faster. 7 minutes slower. The screen keeps flashing updates at me. But over time, I’ve learned to ignore them and stick to the route I know is best. After all, there is no way to know if the route saves those minutes. Once I take a path, it becomes my reality. Faster or slower, it doesn't matter. But every time I go against the suggested route, a question lingers in the back of my min...

I am not listening to audiobooks anymore. There are many times when I need something to listen to, such as driving to the office, going for walks, or even doing chores at home. Audiobooks, podcasts, or songs have fulfilled this need at various points earlier. Songs have been a constant, but audiobooks have been my choice for a long time. But recently, I have not been enjoying the books I listen to. I generally do not listen to nonfiction as I cannot highlight or take notes. Fiction is mostly...

I logged into my system today with a plan to jot down what I had in my mind. What I did was keep my mind numb and just strolled around the web. I hate doing that, but I do that often to know something does not sit right. Inspiration. Motivation. All are just words. They don't appear silently. Even if they do, they don't help. I might be as inspired or motivated as I have been during my productive best periods, but it's all moot if I cannot get things rolling. Such have been the days recently....